Cora in MarioLand!
by Hired Killer
Summary: What happens if a mercenary goes to MarioLand for a mission?


We all know Mario and Co are the property of Nintendo. Now...  
  
MarioLand!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Mario: Oh wo wo wo wo!  
  
[Mario falls onto his butt on a patch of grass next to a moat surrounding a castle.]  
  
Mario: Momma mia! *dusts self off*  
  
[A weird noise is heard get louder above Mario. Mario looks up in the sky and notices a falling green object.]  
  
Mario: Oh no! *eyes widens as the green animal falls on top of him*  
  
Yoshi: *bounces off Mario* Pipoo!  
  
[A silhouette hides behind a tree covering the mouth of a princess in pink. The figure stares at a soggy piece of paper with barely legible letters on it.]  
  
Figure: *thinks to self* Kidnap Princess Toadstool of MarioLand... Okay, I'm doing good.  
  
[Princess Toadstool struggles under the firm grip of her kidnapper. As a last resort, she bites the shadowed person's finger and and begins to scream.]  
  
Princess Toadstool: Mario! Yoshi! Help me!!!!!  
  
[The figure punches the pink princess on the top of her red-hair. The princess falls out unconscious.]  
  
Mario: Princess!  
  
Yoshi: Pipoo!  
  
[Mario hits a red box with his head and receives wings on his hat as he jumps into the air thrice to fly toward the villian. The masked villian clad in black looks a little confused at the flying Italian and backs away a little as the fat man lands with the lizard-dog running to be by his side.]  
  
Mario: *overly dramtic* Who are you? A partner of Wario or Bowser???  
  
Figure: *still confused at the concept of a flying out-of-shape man in tight red overalls* ...  
  
Mario: *irritated* Don't you know who I am!? It's a me, Mario!  
  
Figure: *muffled voice* ...so?  
  
Mario: *angered* That's a it-a! Yoshi! A flower!  
  
[The figure raises an eyebrow as the lizard whips out its tongue and retreives a daisy for Mario. The red-suited man devours the flower causing his face to turn red as he burps.]  
  
Figure: What the hell...? Are you that hungry?  
  
Mario: *frowns* Whatcha tryin' ta do ta me Yoshi! That was-a the wrong-a flower!  
  
Yoshi: Pipoo! *unleashed its tongue again as it grabs a glowing flower*  
  
[Yoshi presents the radiating flower to Mario with its tongue and Mario chomps on the defenseless plant.]  
  
Figure: I'm guessing you're not a tree hugger--  
  
[The figure is interrupted by the light emitted from Mario as his Papa Smurf suit turns white.]   
  
Mario: Feel-a the wrath-a! *spits out a small bouncing fireball*  
  
Figure: *sweatdrop* You've gotta be kiddin' me... *side-steps Mario's ball of fire*  
  
Mario: Aye! Yoshi! Get him!  
  
Yoshi: Pipoo! *extendeds its sticky tongue towards the figure*  
  
Figure: *quickly unsheathes a katana, slicing the green creature's tongue off*  
  
Yoshi: *cries watching its tongue slithering on the grass frantically* PIPOO!  
  
Princess Toadstool: *awakens into consciousness weakly* Uh... what's going on...?  
  
[The figure kicks the princess in the head knocking her out once more. But Mario, trying to be sneaky, tackles the figure.]  
  
Mario: Gotcha! *holds the figure tightly*  
  
[Mario's head buries into a soft chest with shock as he realizes the figure has breasts!]  
  
Figure: *punches the perverted man off her* Hentai...  
  
Mario: Momma mia! You've gotta-- Momma mia's!!!  
  
Figure: That's it Mr. Mario Molester... *agitated*  
  
Mario: *stands up proudly with his theme music blaring* Ah ha ha!  
  
Figure: *confused by the music and pulls out her magnums shooting at the crazy marshmallow-looking man*  
  
[The figure watches as Mario turns into a pink mess as a different music plays.]  
  
Figure: *looks around at surroundings* This place is weird...  
  
[The figure's communicator goes off as a staticy voice is heard.]  
  
Voice: HardCore? Come in?  
  
Figure: Yeah, this is Cora.  
  
Voice: Did you kidnap Phillip Thomasson from Maryland?  
  
Cora: Who...? *looks at the soggy paper again in disbelief at her mistake*  
  
Voice: Well...?  
  
Cora: Err... I'm still on my way there...  
  
Voice: Oh! *surprised* It's not like you to be so late about things... I'll contact in 3 hours to hear your status. Over and out.  
  
Cora: *looks at the mess of Mario on the grass and at the lizard-thing trying to put its tongue back together*  
  
Princess Toadstool: *again foolishly awakens, only to see Mario as a mass of pink on the grass* Oh my god!!!  
  
[The pink princess lets out ear-piercing cries as the figure winces in pain.]  
  
Cora: Shut up, you annoying powder puff!  
  
[As if a reflex, Cora aims her magnum at the shrieking pink banshee and pulls the trigger, leading to a calming silence.]  
  
Cora: *sighs relieved* Thank, kami.  
  
Yoshi: *growls* Pipoo!  
  
Cora: *frowns at the stupid animal and points out the lifeless bodies of its friends with her magnum* Don't be stupid.  
  
Yoshi: *notices the mess of corpses and picks up its wiggling tongue as it sprints off*  
  
Cora: *thinks to self* Now how do I get to Maryland from here...? 


End file.
